But then she goes on: Your dick is ugly. No one wants to see your dick in any context. And while I appreciate her interest in confronting the curiously compulsive need by some guys to send dick-pics to people who are not their sexual intimates (I’ve received a few, myself, without once ever suggesting to any such penis-owners that I was interested in them or their members), I’m concerned about such absolutist language, and not just because I’ve known counter-examples in my life, men and women who find the penis beautiful and likeable, even sublime, and not particularly in that entomologist-studying-a-healthy-specimen-of-Sphodromantis-viridis kind of way.
The thing is, your dick is ugly feeds directly into that sex-as-a-commodity paradigm that burns through men’s society and the internet like genocidal religion. It’s a sentiment that ultimately leads to a society like ours, where harassment (or coercion) is commonplace and accepted as the norm of how adult males achieve sexual gratification: If male ugliness is the default, if women are repulsed by men, then of of course men are supposed to attain sexual gratification by compelling women to surrender it, much the way we’d compel an elk to surrender its flesh to feed our tables. (Sorry, Elk. My family’s gotta eat.)
Adolescent and young adult men across the nation (and across the internet) already believe that women aren’t into sex the way that men are, and that if all men died out, they’d be satisfied with knitting, or munching on each other. Our young people already believe women have to be coerced, by hire, by physical force, by bribery or blackmail or extortion to lend their bodies to starved men. It’s an exchange. The only proper recourse of men is to provide a commodity themselves, money or drugs or a sweet house in which to raise a brood, or in extreme cases, creating circumstances in which the man is the only means for a safe trip back home.
I understand that large portions of our society really would rather not look at our unclean, uncouth, lecherous young people who sometimes will turn to each other or farm animals in order to gratify themselves for a moment. It is curious how our teenage boys are so commonly regarded as repugnant, either too brutish or too milquetoast to tolerate. Our ultimate solution seems to be to just lock our pubescent boys into prisons, that they could fuck and pugilize each other out of our sight until they’re older and their libidos have calmed down.
But that won’t stop the problem. If anything it’ll make their attitudes worse, and it’ll just give them a decade to plan meticulously how they’re going to take vengeance on a heartless, cruel world.
I’ve suggested before, we could castrate our boys when they’re still children (say at five) so that they never develop an interest in sex. Much the way that tonsils or the appendix seem to cause only troubles (or more troubles than they have benefits) so it seems with testicles. This provides a perfect solution to male sexual harassment.
The other option, of course, is to change our society, and stop abandoning our kids once they are pubescent and either aggressive monsters or puny wimps, and too disgusting to be regarded. It is this time that every boy to the last has your dick is ugly driven into their innocent heads. US public school systems across the nation hire abstinence-only presenters for a pretty penny to tell boys their cods are hideous and they will have to pay in gold and diamonds for every coition in their lives. And to girls they’ll emphasize how valuable and precious they are, until they have sex even once (even if by rape) at which point they are entirely useless to society, so their entire life depends on staying a virgin until their prince comes and buys them a house and a trust fund in advance.
This is what the United States believes about sex and sexuality. Boys and girls are fed this, and all other voices remain silent on the matter. (Until they specifically seek those voices out in the public library, or find a proper feminist firebrand in their college Women’s Health professor.)
That is to say, this society of sexual coercion and assault wasn’t born this way. It was made.
So, Samantha Bee, I get you mean well, but when you advise the men of the US Your dick is ugly. don’t worry. They know it. That’s all they’ve known since they were twelve.