Cat: Confronting Demons

☣ It turns out I have asthma, which according to the nifty inhalers I get can kill me any moment now. My lungs just fill up with gunk and I suffocate in minutes. My asthma doesn’t actually seem that acute, making me want to cough a lot and hack up phlegm. Still, I got a nifty inhaler and a daily supplement to the antihistimine I’m taking for superbloom allergies.

I wrote some stuff which started getting heavy. The TL:DR version is:

We have a child serving as president who killed the US commitment to the Paris Agreement on greenhouse gas emissions. He did it just to show himself that he can do unpopular things and the rest of the world still has to tolerate him and even regard him as important. He may need to do this from time to time, whenever he feels insufficiently powerful or insufficiently appreciated. And this foreshadows some potential thermonuclear scenarios.

And then, even if we survive Trump, we’re going to elect other Trumps or worse. Both the Democratic and Republican parties are (for now) campaigning on hate, which is likely going to put very not-nice not-competent people into office.

The Republican campaign is basically spite memes (e.g. coffee cups filled with liberal tears, and novelty joke books about how clueless the Democrats are). They’re encouraging voters to rage against the left and vote Republican as an expression of that rancor. And the Democrats are campaigning on being not the Republicans. They don’t really push the public side of the issues (since they’re also corporate-backed, this is no surprise), but at least they don’t do as much crap as the republicans do to wreck the country.

And so long as we have this dynamic, we’re going to get more children in office. We’re going to get more madmen with thermonuclear strike powers. We’re going to have more presidents who can’t negotiate with other national leaders, who don’t understand context or history, who are an embarrassment to the nation.

We’re also not going to be able to stabilize policy, as hot topics such as abortion access, climate change and (now) net neutrality get flipped with every administration change.

Our representatives and our established political parties are not going to fix this, since it serves them personally. Activists will have to push this as an issue, or ultimately, the people, once they’ve suffered enough and are unwilling to continue to endure this state of affairs.

Things are going to get worse before they get better. And if runaway climate change doesn’t kill us, nuclear holocaust might.

That said, I started getting angry and sad once I got into the details. I may do a fuller piece on this, or on some of it. There’s probably too much for one post.

I’m trying to clean my room, which is an emotional minefield, especially since the intent is to get my music gear installed so that I can start practicing, and ultimately start composing again. It’s been a sensitive issue once I came to the conclusion that I’m really not all that good (though I have a decent sense of orchestration). And yet Euterpe and Polyhymnia keep whispering tunes into my ears.

For now, though, I’m having to confront, once again, that I’m a slob and that our hateful world has no mercy, let alone for slobs. Baby steps, though. If I can clear my work-space of minutia, I can move furniture around without dumping crap all over the floor. The next step, then, is to disassemble the computer so that a space can be cleared for the giant keyboard.

I’m really resisting that step.

Really, I just want to hide and play video games. I may be a bit anxious and depressed.


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